Chanel Spring: A complete about face from fall

So this week Karl Lagerfield debuted his Spring 2012 collection and let's just say femininity has returned to the house of Chanel. This season may have been all about his 'dream' of a post apocalyptic, volcanic, forest of masculine androdgyny (arguably less androdgyny and more masculinity). Having worked at Chanel I can give you the total scoop on this season and what Chanel was saying about it. So it was supposed to be all about browns, blacks and whites. There was the hybrid jackets (blazers over jumpers), 'tree bark jeans', masculine shoes with socks (this subject deserves its own blog.... what is with Karl Lagerfield and HORRIFIC runway shoes. For fall we had mens boots with houndstooth socks, for cruise we had a boot thong sandal hybrid..... something that managed to be actually more repulsive than it sounded... believe it or not and then apparently for spring we have a blue metallic mens office esque flat.... UGH), VERY pointy small heeled shoes (honestly... for those of you who have not tried this on... unless your feet are the size of an asian midgets these will look AWFUL)- we will be returning later to why the heel was so small, high waisted- wide legged wool pants rolled up to expose the ankle with silk lining, a lot of shirts that even Oscar Wilde would have balked at (imagine a 1800s mens shirt with enough ruffles to be used on your dog to prevent stitch licking) and then of course the jumpsuit rather than the dress.

Why you ask did Mr. Lagerfield impose such a fugly dream on the women of the world? Well it was more than just a hallucination. He argued that he was ushering in a style revolution. That the fashion pack had moved beyond both the idea of sexy and femininity. Clothes were not meant to impose or enhance such traits rather they were to essentially function barrier to such traits through which they were expected to shine through. Therefore it wasn't the designed enhancing them but rather through going the entirely opposite way, arguably by creating a clear juxstaposition, the actual attitude of women was intended to shine through creating a suggestibly more sexy or feminine aesthetic. 

However as the regional director was explaining this new aesthetic which the Chanel brand representatives were intended to sell to it's customers (honestly, anyone who could sell half the pieces in that collection must have made a pact with a devil.... or be dealing with exclusively tasteless individuals) she mentioned that this aesthetic had not only not followed through into cruise (not totally surprising considering its almost separate and individual nature to the spring/ summer and fall/ winter collections) but that all of Mr. Lagerfield's statements would be in fact subject to a total about face within the spring collection.... after viewing the collection that would seem to be an understatement.

You can check out my favorite looks below:

I have to say that Karl Lagerfield's last couple of collections I have found totally underwhelming SO this has definitely been a pleasant surprise. I desperately hope to see Charlotte Casiraghi rocking some of these looks soon or even better I would like to see them at Blair's wedding. What could be more fitting then Serena van der Woodsen wearing Chanel to Blair's wedding seeing Blake Lively's ambassadorial position to the brand. 

AH - MAY - ZANG! 

How I feel: big breasted and large

Alright! First off MASSIVE apologies for going MIA for the last two months. I know I moved to England and became USELESS. It all ends now though, I promise.

Well you may ask. What have I been up to since I cyber stranded my site? Well I've but on about 8 pounds..... Apparently discovering you have an addiction to mass amount of mayonnaise on thick cut chips will do that to you..... Also a renewed love of vodka, hummus, goats cheese on crisps with fresh avocado and wine..... 

I have also gained, lost and then gained a boyfriend (a drummer and then a trader- got to mix it up). I also gained and then lost a job (- working at Chanel.... apparently not that fun). So here I am two months later basically where I was before, plus the weight and the boyfriend... and some sweet vintage movie posters on my wall (lest I forget those). OH! I lie. I am also now the proud owner of ombre hair.... judge at your leisure.

But I promise there will be some more regular updates coming as well as some requisite bitchyness. 

Chanel grey

I am OBSESSED (all caps) with this nail color. I have a wedding this summer and I have been wondering what color I should wear on my nails ... AND what color shoes, hat and clutch I should wear.... soooo basically I've only got the dress sorted BUT now thanks to my dearest Karl I've got the nails, nailed (!) at a minimum.

A petition for the deflowering of Claudia Schiffer

So Chanel just unveiled the new advertising campaign for their eyewear line, featuring the indomitable and ageless Claudia Schiffer. SHOCK.... I am not a fan. I know! And I'm usually soooooooo easy to please. No honestly alright the photos are phone. The women is the epitome of gorgeous and just fabulous. BUT that doesn't really appease me because it's Claudia Schiffer's face like of course it's good. That's why she makes the big bucks. But it's Chanel! I just expect so much more! So you say it just can't literally be Claudia's face wearing glasses, we agree it's Chanel. No..... no it's not. They've flowered her and I an incensed. It's not a beautiful floral arrangement, not a flower print.... no they've just literally stuck a flower on her head in the most awkward manner and not a nice flower but the flower that they awkwardly stick on your bag (which brings me to a separate tangent.... again not a fan. Find it a little bit annoying and think it looks cheap). So overall Karl no. Just not. Deflower Claudia and your bags and then we'll hug it out.