Some rank shit...

Honestly I felt the blog had to be named this in order to truly pay tribute to how rank this shit is.... because this shit is rank. This post is dedicated to the WORST of fall 2011 fashion. Grab a bucket and be prepared to cringe. As I said, this shit is nasty.

Alright so this little horror comes to us courtesy of Alexander Wang. Honestly, no- I did not fly to Amsterdam and track these down in some vintage 70s porn shop to trick you. Honest to goodness this is what my dearest Mr. Wang thinks women might wear for fall. I don't fault him. Some women probably do.... albeit they starred in deep throat and aren't his target customer. Regardless these shoes are the bastard child of a 70s porn star and the remnants from Elizabeth Hurley's 90s film Bedazzled (yes the one where she plays the sexy devil and SHOCKINGLY nothing turns out well for Brendan Fraser... much like the remainder of his career).

Next, these dumb bells come to us courtesy of Chanel. Again honestly. I did not find these on ebay. These are goodness to truth Chanel weights. I can only imagine that Karl Lagerfield considered that this would be a good way to go during a trip to Barbie's dream house where it occurred to him that she could really use a set of branded CHANEL weights. I emphasize Chanel because this would be fucking horrific if they were any designer but for Chanel to stoop to such a low.... let me just say it makes their inflatable dinghy look fucking low key. Honestly if I ever see someone in possession of these I will literally be forced to tell them they are a chav to their face. I know cruel but true.

This (perhaps unsurprisingly).... thing is brought to us by Dres Van Noten. When I look at it I immediately think that if I could get my dog to design a pair of heels for me.... that this is what they would look like. Why I would pay for the honor of wearing something an uneducated (albeit adorable) animal could create.... well that's just redundant.

Givenchy..... it's an oddly shaped pleather- eque suitcase with panthers on it. I think I can leave it at that.

 This pretty much sums up why I don't own anything by Louis Vuitton........

 And again.... this simply serves to reiterate why I am proud to say that I own NOTHING from Louis Vuitton.... including these thriller inspired fur gloves...... for all those who want to look drop a g to look like a bloody werewolf. 

 If this was a sex toy I wouldn't mind. What offends me is that Missoni is marketing this as a bracelet.... for fall.... for humans.... to wear outside their bed.... to walk around in.... publicly... assailing the eyes of the populace. What the fuck! It's 2011... not an Austin Powers movie. Honestly!

I'm sure you have been assialed by an image of these boots before... They are Prada suede mary jane BOOTS...... and they are actually disgusting. I vommed a bit at my mouth but it went back down when I caught sight of this image. No joke. Disgusting.